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Where I'm At - Pt 2

[Continued from last post]

"I felt like a kid whose dad asks him to come to the garage knowing each time before he has asked him and the kid has gone that the dad just smacks him across the face for no reason. But he goes this time because he has a glimmer, albeit a small flicker, of hope that his dad won't smack him in the face but instead ask him to play a game of basketball or something fun. So, the kid goes, only to receive aforementioned smack, leaving the boy feeling rejected, unloved and even less sure that his dad has good intentions towards him at all. This is where I'm at. I hear Your Word regarding this and it speaks to me, to my mind. But my heart isn't there. My heart screams injustice, sobs due to alleged maltreatment and begs for mercy. My head knows better. My heart wishes I could fight back, and is prideful enough to believe I could even make it in the ring past the first bell. My head hears promises that this is for my good. My heart doesn't believe this is true, feels betrayed, that if this is for my good, I'll cut my losses and settle for where I'm at if it means avoiding the pain which comes along with these events. My head knows that this does in fact reveal Your love for me, that, if approached properly, will remove the dross and refine the gold. So please keep going, God; please don't stop. But I beg You to let me see You in it. Let me know You in it. Let me see Your face and feel Your hand of favor. Continue to lavish on me promises and truths like these:

-"God takes us to the place we don't want to go, but want to have been." H. Sheldon
-"When through deep waters I call you to go; the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow; for I will be with you, your trouble to bless; and sanctify to you your deepest distress." -Rippon
-"You have tested us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid a crushing burden on our backs; You let me ride over our heads; we went through fire and water; yet You have brought us out to a place of abundance." -Psalm 66:10-12
-"God wants to take the thing we are most insecure in, our greatest weakness, and pour His strength into it. He wants to transform that for His glory." - H. Sheldon
-"The biggest obstacle is not because of our circumstance, but because of our flesh."
-"And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good." -Romans 8:28
-"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:10

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