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God is a Person

This Advent I have been reflecting on Emmanuel, God with us, in light of our information-driven society. Day or night we have access to more information than we could possibly consume, filled with facts, opinions and stories of people both close and far-removed from us. I am realizing that information feels like control to me. I want to consume information and use it to help me be in control of my life. In American Christian culture there is also no shortage of information. You can find articles on all types of spiritual topics. It's easy to begin to depend on information instead of God.  I find myself having more of a relationship with my ideas about God than with God Himself.
This Christmas season God is reminding me of His personhood.  He is not an idea that I can manage and conquer through knowledge. He is an infinite being that has entered my life and is conquering and forming me. I settle for fun ideas, self-revelations, comforting quips but when I encounter His presence, it is overwhelming and I am undone. He is not small; He is not completely knowable to a limited being such as I. My knowledge and theology is not adequate for One such as He. I can't predict His movements in my life and I cannot pre-fabricate His response to me. I must experience Him in the present, I must know Him in the now to truly know Him.
I have acquired so much knowledge about Him but information itself is not what frees me.  I must experience Him in the present; I must know Him in the now to truly know Him. I may sin against Aaron and know in my head that Jesus gave Himself for me so that I am forgiven but if I do not go before my Father in Heaven, approach the person of God and allow Him into my story in the now, the emotions and thoughts of it, then I do not know the freedom of His forgiveness. Though even in that my approach to Him has sometimes boiled down to the well-worn rut of a method. It happens with other relationships too, my husband, my children. I forget the great dignity of their souls as I run through my life at high speed. I forget the bigness of my Creator as I feel I must jump through hoops, create certain conditions in the environment to approach Him. I'm thankful for His terrible grace in reminding me that He is a who, not an it. He often chooses to meet me in the seemingly strangest places- the crazed homeschool desk, the kitchen, walking Jaman back from school. I imagine I could meet Him much better in my room with the door closed and no interruptions. He meets me in ways I can't describe, watching my son examine a bug, my daughter paint, holding a newborn. There is something of God in those moments. Something that I can't consume or use, something I can only notice and enjoy.  
As I wait this Christmas season I am worshipping, not just information and ideas but the Person who made Himself known to me in Jesus Christ.

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