The Wurglers

It is difficult to receive the gift of His presence when I'm in a hurry.  And I am in a hurry often this time of year.  So many details, so many projects, so many plans, so many events.  Finding my self-worth in producing is a problem for me any time of year but especially now.  Checking things off my list feels like an addiction- this compulsion to do things and finish things, followed by a sputtering of self-satisfaction, then followed by disappointment that the satisfaction was so insufficient and short.  Off to the next thing to do!  I need more satisfaction, I need more self-worth, I need to please more people or please myself more.  Stop.  Slow.  Listen.  He calls me back to Himself.  My worth is not the things I do and produce. This is Christmas.  "He appeared and the soul felt its worth...." No matter how all your decisions turn out No matter if you are right or wrong No matter what you think, say, or do No matte...

Many of you may have already heard our exciting family news as we have shared when we are meeting with you.  We are adopting!!  We have always had a heart for adoption and since the beginning of our marriage have prayed and supported friends who have adopted, loving the picture of offering a family to one without, just as God offers a loving family to us.  Over the past three years we have had the opportunity to learn about the orphan situation in East Asia and to volunteer in foster homes and orphanages there.  God has gripped our hearts for these little ones, many of whom have special needs.  We have seen the bright light of God’s hope in this dark place in the country we live in- we love how His kingdom is one of light and of unreasonable love.  His kingdom is one of laying down your life for another and standing up for the oppressed and vulnerable.  God loves the statusless, the abandoned, those who cannot even care for themselves.  How close...

As a parent I feel like a driving force in my heart is "I just want to do the right thing."  The trouble is that often, I don't know what the right thing is.  I tear my hair out as I analyze each option (feeling as if their entire life hinged on this very moment), weigh it out in my mind, see problems with all options, either react out of frustration or become paralyzed with indecision, try something, decide that was definitely not right, and then despair of ever having civilized grown children.  A bit over-dramatic?Allow me to insert here:  what if I prayed first?  My instinct is to figure it out on my own.  God is gently lifting my eyes to Him- to help know what to do but also to trust Him when I have done the wrong thing or when the immediate result wasn't what I hoped.  God, help me!  So often I want the result and I forget that I am called to follow Him as I parent because He is my God, not because it produces the result I desire. In Christ...

Passionate God, I pray for a heart that is fully alive with passions and desires.  I pray for a heart that feels deeply, longs, yearns, and desires passionately.  Draw me, remind me, lure me to bring all of that deep and overwhelming passion to You and place it in Your hands, running to You in the times where what I deeply want,  what I think I must have, must be or must be able to do, is not what You want for me to have, be or do.  Would You be my Comforter, my tender Shepherd, and the Refiner of the depth of my soul.  Would You win my living, longing, yearning soul to Yourself even through disappointment, grief, disillusionment, gratitude, joy and ultimately a deep confidence in the Creator of my soul and all of its passions, who offers Himself in all situations and emotions of my life as my very Great Reward. "For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever. Amen." Romans 11:36

There are so many things to do every day- meals to cook, dishes to wash, children to homeschool, laundry to wash, making plans to make plans, chinese vocabulary to learn and help my children learn, share my faith, encourage others, see big problems, make plans to solve big problems, attempt to carry out said plans, save the world or die trying.  Most days it feels like I am running at breakneck speed and my mind is going even faster. With each successful check on my never-ending list, my pride and sense of self-worth increase.  With each realization that I could never accomplish all that I seek to do, a dip into despair.  One look at my list would tell you I think I am superwoman- a woman with no limits.  The Author of my life tells me otherwise.  "The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone and we fly away." Psalm 90:10  He created me with limits. For the season of Len...

 There is a continually flowing undercurrent in my soul this Christmas season.  What started as a slow trickle has broken out into a rushing, growing wild stream.  Fears and struggles that come into contact with this stream are swept up and away in it, sometimes still bobbing up and down but completely immersed in what I can only describe as peace.  This peace comes from a word that I hear a lot this time of year:  Emmanuel.  Emmanuel... God with us...  So much encased in three simple words. "Unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given.... and His name shall be called.... Prince of Peace... Of the increase of His government and of peace there will be no end...."  Isaiah 9:6-7 My fears of being alone, being wrong, of being foolish, of being out of control, of what may come are drudged up as they crash against circumstances in my life.  I am wrong often, I am foolish at times, I am in control of much less like than I like to admit,.... bu...

Yesterday we observed Orphan Sunday at our church.  As I stood in the sanctuary singing, I was so moved.  I belong to such an amazing Kingdom.  I serve such an awesome King.  He is holy or set apart from us.  He is not like us.  He always does everything right for the right reasons which makes Him above all.  He is powerful, powerful enough to create the universe.  Why would He care about people like us?  We have no power compared to His, we are imperfect and do wrong things, sometimes we even can do right things but for the wrong reasons, we have done nothing to deserve a relationship with Him.  That is true of every last human being on this earth right now.  That reality is hard-hitting, crushing our pride.  Pride does not give up easily, though.  We shift our eyes away from Him to avoid our shame and ignore our fear of rejection and our view falls on this world.  We create status based on family of origin, citizens...